6 Mistakes to avoid when in relationship

Relationships are a big challenge nowadays, finding the right person and feeling the connection emotionally can be tricky. You need to aware of those red flags and accept rejection when it comes your way. Sometimes your excitement leads you into many troubles.

But every good thing has some mistakes to be avoided. Recognizing those mistakes and learning from them can save you from crying and lots of drama's later. And these are the obvious blunder that we all encounter at some point in our life but we ignore it because of the butterfly feels in our stomach.

So, let's look at 6 common mistakes you need to avoid for a healthy relationship.

1. Not maintaining the relation

Remember how excited and tremulous you were, when you talked for the first time with your partner. Remind yourself how much effort you put in to make the relation happening. And once you got together, do you treat your partner the same way as you did on the very first day? Humans tend to strive for the goals hard to achieve, but they don't know how to maintain them. Slowly you lose the spark and start drifting away from them. If you water a plant one day and not every day, will the flowers bloom? Is there any output? No right.

Start of any relationships are always good, it can be your spouse, family, partner or friends, if you don't keep adding your efforts to talk to them, the relationship will soon be retarded. Spice it up by making your partner feel special about their existence, do something that can resolve the unspoken blunder.

2. Constantly questioning

Your fear of losing your loved ones can cause the relationship to cripple. When everything in our life is going fine, our brain tends to think of a problem or tries to find it even if it doesn't exist. Most of the time we are aware of this but still, we get into the trap of vague thoughts. If your partner talks to other people or is not able to give you time as they used to earlier, then try to understand their situation rather than judging them or mistrusting them. Don't conclude based on what you hear from other people or what you see on social media, they all pretty lie to disrupt our mind.

It's incredibly hurtful when you try to doubt your partner or be envious of others who talk to them,treat them as humans, not your assets.

If you have any problem, then be open about it and trust your partner in the process. Constantly asking them questions or doubting their loyalty can build the barriers between you two. This is not healthy for your mental peace and relation, as you will have a habit of questioning your partner on whatever they do.

3. Wanting to change them

Are you able to change your habit? Are you doing what you want to do?

Or have you ever succeeded to bring a significant change in other people? It's not possible right! Then why is it so hard to accept the fundamentals, it's not even a notion. Comprising and adjusting is different than trying to change people. A lot of people assume that their partner should understand them, adjust for them, act according to how they want. Ask yourself who do you want a loyal puppy or trustworthy human? Why you want to control someone or try to make them as you want. Even if you try to change them and if they will, you will soon realize their worth is nothing as you can control them however you want to and again you will be in the puddle of sadness. Rather than acting on your emotions, understand them.

Relationships are strong when you accept all the differences between each other and accept them as they are, with all the flaws. It doesn't mean that you have to change their habits or little annoying thing, instead, you need to accept them and respect their nature. Even you are annoying sometimes, you might have traits which are not the norm or society won't like it, will you change it if somebody told you? Question yourself how would you like if someone keeps telling you how you should behave or act in certain situations, won't you feel locked up deprived of your freedom? Yes, right? Focus on the good stuff, negativity is everywhere and to truly feel the essence of your better half, is to accept the imperfect.

Remember the only person you can change is, yourself.

4. Comparing them with others

You choose your partner based on your experience, mostly you look for similar patterns and traits in other people. And then what you try to do if it doesn't go according to the structure you have in your mind? Boom! Conflicts, comparison, and frustration. If you compare your partner with other people, you are trying to belittle their significance. Every person and situation is unique, so don't try to deal it with your old way, it won't improve anything. If you keep talking about other people, your partner might lose interest in you, and it's obvious if you want to talk about other people, then why did you choose them in the first place?

There will be people who are better than you and your significant other, but it doesn't mean you will keep comparing them and building a good version. Why do you need everything perfect in life? Even the people you are comparing your partner isn’t perfect, if you be with them you will compare them with others and this chain reaction goes on. Because humans have a natural gift of trying to improve everything and achieve at their best. But when it comes to relations, you need to settle down, it's not your goal that you will strive hard to make it better. It's already better, you just need to accept it and realize the importance of your relationship and your partner.

5. Not being open

If you try to restrain your emotions to yourself, you are probably doing a big mistake. We need to realize that when we are committing to others or building relationships with people, we need to show our true selves. Bad or good doesn't matters, don't try to change yourself and fit in what other people want. Be open about everything, about what you want from a particular relation, how you have to keep going about it. If you keep secrets from them, that guilt will later consume you. Communicate with your partner about minute details, share them what you feel, inform them if you don't like something. Your partner will understand, if they don't then maybe they are not the right one. These are the times when you come to know, what kind of person you want to be with. Maybe you need emotional support or motivation to do something, if you be open about such stuff with your partner, this will build trust among you both, and your connection will get strong slowly. Being straightforward is better than expecting others to figure you out. No one is thinking about you all the time, so don't be in the notion of the world around yourself.

Listen without judgment and speak without hesitation.

6. Be patient and Spend time wisely

Excitement is obvious in a newly formed relationship. But over time the excitement has gone and there is no more affection towards each other. Can you eat one particular food in your appetite for the rest of your life? You will be bored; humans need a change in their life after a point of time. The same goes for relationships, spending too much time with your partner can cause the development phase to degrade.

Rome was not built in a day, right? Everything in life requires time, having patience is the key to effective relationships. Every bit of personal information is shared between partners, but before the right time, it isn't a healthy relationship. Soon you will be bored with that same person, and there won't be enough to talk. Don't risk your relation over frenzied emotions.

Control your feelings and give time to yourself and your career. The better half is just a part of your life, you don't have to get into the notion of soulmate thing. That is just a word, true love and affection towards anyone comes with time and knowing them properly.

Your mother kept you in her womb for nine months, that's why her love is unconditional and can never be matched with anyone. So, give time to people, don't reveal yourself too soon, and avoid making a hasty decision.

Remember, "All that glitters is not gold".